head full of bed.

it's like there's an itch i can't scratch. i feel like i am torn between two different emotions. half of me wants to go one way, and the other another way. should i dive into the unknown or stay where i am comfortable? obviously, i should be diving. but i am terrible at diving. my legs always flop back and produce a huge splash. if i dive i want it to be a ten, perfect straight legs. 

'practice makes perfect'. fuck you. i don't want to practice, i want the knowledge to be there already.

i'm tired. elyse, i am calling you tomorrow.