columbia college chicago.

cooollllummmmbiiiiiiiaaaaaaa!!!!!

i like getting accepted places :) now i have to wait to here from santa cruz. but at least i know i am going to go 

SOMEWHERE!!!

g-m-g

SiiiGhhh

ghostworld,

'EWW...

oh my god, will you look at this... it's totally 

pornographic! 

Who do they think they're kidding!?

Are they really so desperate to sell cookies that they have to show a 

big dick going into a cunt on the package!?

If they were honest they'd just take a photo 

of a real dick...'

))<>((

driving empty roads and smoking empty cigarettes, 

in the car i felt like i needed to define what a relationship is for me. just to like, know. but it's not something i can define and smash into a little box and stuff under my bed. its just there. floating magically above everyone's head.

i've been really good at avoiding things and pushing people away in the last nineteen years, to pull someone towards me is new and terrifying. like i am fully incapable of acting normal. i tend to shut down.

and then i turn into a liar.

i'm on a boat:

head full of bed.

it's like there's an itch i can't scratch. i feel like i am torn between two different emotions. half of me wants to go one way, and the other another way. should i dive into the unknown or stay where i am comfortable? obviously, i should be diving. but i am terrible at diving. my legs always flop back and produce a huge splash. if i dive i want it to be a ten, perfect straight legs. 

'practice makes perfect'. fuck you. i don't want to practice, i want the knowledge to be there already.

i'm tired. elyse, i am calling you tomorrow.

eep. :// >>>>