learning how to completely disappear.

the vinyl is yellow. which makes me happy. the album is soothing, which also makes me happy.

i am happy to be home, pearl is begging for attention 

although, i love to sit at the beach and imagine myself living in a tiny white house, paint peeling from the winds of the ocean, big glass windows, a white picket fence, junky unfinished art projects lounging in the front yard, dug parked in the gravel driveway, a record player, two fat cats, and miscellaneous items scattered through out the house with no particular order. this is the house i want. once james told me "no offense, but i can see you being single all of your life and being completely happy." if thats all i know, there's no other way i can be - but thank you james, i'll take it as a compliment.

you wait,

you wait for something that'll make the wait worth the wait.

and she says patience, darling,

patience, patience, it will come.

back at the beginning.

i told james i liked him and he politely declined me.

two-faced cat!

yesterday was better.

i like the put pictures of myself on my own blog!!

but seriously, today: i woke up at 4 am this morning, watched a james bond movie, fell asleep again, woke up at 9 am, didn't have time to shower, i was twenty minutes late for class, i forgot to sign in, i almost ditched sociology but decided to painfully sit through the class, ate a burrito, burned a cd for lara, sat in james' trailer, went to art class, didn't work on my art project, left art, smoked all my cigarettes, hung out in a parking lot, five out of ten people were stoned, my stomach ate itself, i wore a wig and danced, dreamt about food, and then left because i didn't want to throw water balloons at video gamers.

now i am going to eat the fridge.

**

two kisses: one for me, one for you.

being a George.

[i'd been watching e.t. for a good hour while typing up college applications. my dad walks in and sits down in the red chair.]

dad: ...are you watching this e.t. in spanish?

me: no.

[both of us watch the screen for at least a minute.]

dad: yes you are!

me: oh... i didn't notice.

[the phone rings, i answer it. i talk to my mom for a little bit and hand the phone to my dad.]

dad: hello?

me: dad.... the phone's upside down....

welding activity.

Gianni Giorgio with a plasma cutter, 10.21.08.